Hidden Heartbreak
by Beloved Dawn
Summary: He wondered if there were limits to his masochism. She wondered when he would stop hurting her. Everyone else watched and applauded. After all, most places you have to pay for this sort of entertainment.


_Heh heh, oops? This one's actually been done and edited for a while, but for some reason I never got around to posting it. I blame it on starting a second job. Sorry for the wait, and I hope you like it._

_Huge thanks to kiwigreeneyes, for editing. Hugs!_

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Years ago they had reconciled their differences. They still fought like cats and dogs, but now it was obviously all meant in good humour. In fact, the patrons of the Crown often laughed to hear things like "meanie-face" and "mean ol' witch" coming from the mouths of an acclaimed author and a doctor.

Granted he was a pediatrician and she wrote children's stories, so they obviously had childish sides, but it was still a shocking sight to see an immaculately dressed young lady and a dark haired, well groomed gentleman arguing in an arcade. Newcomers to the spectacle were always surprised when the two burst out laughing and retired to a booth to chat, accompanied either by milkshakes (her treat) or coffee (his turn to pay).

Even more recently, another change had come upon them. The young gentleman had been off of his game for over a week, and finally his young companion convinced him to spend a full day with her. It had cheered him up immensely, and on the following day something surprising had happened.

No one knew what had happened on their day, but speculation was rampant. Ever since then their normal arguments had started a new way. He always spoke first, but she always shot back the first witty comment. Really, she had all the time in the world to think of them since every day his first words to her were "Tsukino Usagi, I love you."

*

Usagi loved the fights she had with Chiba Mamoru. He was always such a vibrant adversary. His logic was always impressive, even if the words he used to express them often sounded like something the hero said to the villain in one of her stories. She loved the hectic flush, the recklessness, and the companionship those fights offered.

Admitting that, of course, had been the first step to admitting she loved him. It still wasn't something anyone knew. None of her friends realized that the crush she'd had on him since she was fourteen had matured to a real love. She took pains to make sure they stayed oblivious.

Especially him. She wasn't sure when he had crossed the line from earnest opponent to argumentative friend, but he had. Or she had. Either way, they spent more time talking than they did arguing these days. She was there to comfort him when something went badly at the hospital, and he was at her door at seven with matte tea and an invite to breakfast when she pulled an all-nighter to meet a deadline. They were best friends.

But they were still just friends.

His daily declarations had at first made her giddy and cheerful, but that had faded when she took stock and realized that he probably meant it in a friend way. The first day she had just laughed it off, confused. On the second she had ignored it, surprised. By the third day she had decided that someone that wonderful didn't mean those words to her, and they were just a way of reaffirming the friendship and throwing her off balance. Stung, she had responded with insults, taking their relationship back on keel. They were always her best comebacks, the ones against that.

She loved his argumentative nature. She loved the calm that only she ever seemed to ruffle. She loved his beautiful eyes, and even the glasses that somehow served to enhance them. She loved the strong arms that wrapped around her whenever she needed a hug. She loved his sensitivity. She loved his spirit. She loved his everything.

Tsukino Usagi loved Chiba Mamoru. With all her heart.

And every day she hid its breaking behind a witty retort.

_How DARE he say that and not mean it!_

*

Chiba Mamoru seriously wondered if there were limits to his masochism at times. And his insanity.

Recently his best friend, Usagi, had been ill. She had spent several days at home, and even though he had visited her, they hadn't fought. He couldn't bring himself to act rude when she was so obviously suffering.

That was when he realized just how much he loved arguing with her.

He may not have noticed the hole that not arguing had left in him if it hadn't been for the virus. She wouldn't let him hug her either. Unable to offer any sort of comfort besides just his friendly presence and some soup, he became aware of what was missing. There were no real meaningful interactions. Just some platitudes and humour. That had hurt a lot. Contemplating that, he had come to a startling conclusion.

That was when he realized just how much he loved _her_.

And that was the day he started tearing pieces off of his heart. At first he had been able to conceal it, so as not to jeopardize the friendship. Then had come the accident.

He had been called in to attend to the child. She had been shaken badly, but not really hurt. Her mother had taken the hurt for her, had protected the child with her body. She was blonde too.

For just a second, upon first walking into the emergency room, Mamoru had thought it was Usagi. His heart ached even thinking about it now.

People compared heartbreak to dying, but Mamoru didn't believe that.

There was no way dying could hurt that bad.

He hadn't wanted to make her awkward, and had spent most of the next week thinking of a way to tell her his feelings. He knew he couldn't just keep not telling her. He wanted her to know.

He just didn't want to lose her when she did.

She had spent a full day cheering him up. And he had spent it reveling in the illusion that they were more than just friends. That the casual touches meant more than just comfort. That the easiness was more than just friendship, that it meant contented, casual, true love.

He must have managed to convince himself, since the next time he saw her the words left his mouth without conscious thought. He just felt his mouth open and heard the words it spoke.

"Tsukino Usagi, I love you."

And she had laughed.

Yet every day he said those words, hoping for a miracle. And every day she tore up a little bit more of his heart.

*

"Penny for your thoughts."

Mamoru turned to look at the blonde standing next to him on the bridge. He hadn't even noticed her coming up, thanks to his distraction. But he knew the words he needed to say, no matter how they hurt. Besides, she _had _asked...

"Tsukino Usagi, I lo..."

"Don't even!" An imperially raised hand startled him into following her order. "I don't want to fight. We don't even have an audience here. Don't start. I'm really not up to it today."

He just looked at her, quiet for a moment. Then with a shrug he turned his attention back to the water flowing beneath them. "If you insist. But you shouldn't ask the question if you don't want the answer."

"What question?"

"What I was thinking."

"But that can't be right."

"It is."

"Hunh?"

"I was thinking about exactly what I was going to say."

"You were not. Don't tease me like that."

His temper flared.

"I know you weren't really thinking that."

"No, I guess I wasn't quite thinking that."

She was quiet for a moment, before asking softly "What _were_ you thinking of?"

That was really the last straw.

He turned to her, his anger and heartbreak written plainly on his face. "I was thinking about how I have it, straight from the source, that the one person I love, unreservedly, wholeheartedly, could never love me back. I think the phrase was "If you were the last man on earth, I guess I'd just have to see if Michiru would share." Sound about right to you?"

She just stared at him in shock. As far as she knew, he'd never been angry with her. Never. His temper was therefore just as much of a shock as the reason behind it. "I... but... you... what... um..."

He just glared at her. He felt a savage satisfaction in making her speechless. That hadn't happened since she was in middle school. "You can leave. I don't need an audience to my pain today. Or any other day, really."

She didn't leave. She was still looking up at him with a dazed and mildly hurt expression. Then, in the space between one heartbeat and the next, she was pressed against him, arms holding on so tight he could barely breathe.

"Really?" The soft question was almost lost to his shirt forever. Still, somehow, he managed to understand her need. The answer she waited for.

"Yes, really, you silly goose. What do you think I've been _saying_ for the past few months?"

His arms felt right, wrapped around her. She couldn't believe she was hearing this. "I didn't realize you meant it. It was just so sudden…. Plus, you're you. And I'm just me…."

"Yes, you are you. You are my perfect Usako, and I love you."

"I love you too, Mamo-chan."

*

Entertainment had been scarce for a week in the Crown Arcade. Not a single fight had erupted, much to the disappointment of some of the other customers.

Others were perfectly happy to see the couple famous for their spats cuddling. They said it was perfect.

Aino Minako was ecstatic. After all, she'd won nearly $500 from various bets.


End file.
